May 11, 2020

What sex positions say about your relationship?

When you're in a long-term relationship, sometimes sex becomes low on priority. With children, work, and other responsibilities, we start compromising on the passion department. However, if you have been wondering whether you should have more sex, don't be fooled by what you see on TV. Check out out our Online adult shop page which has everything adult shop related that you might need..

In 2015, researchers had revealed that after a 40-year study that surveyed more than 30,000 Americans, they found that couples that have sex once a week are the happiest. So, don't worry if you are one of those people. The quality of sex matters and how it makes you feel. If you are satisfied with once a week, then that's your magic number.

Sex positions are another matter that people like to debate about. Whether it is good, who does it satisfy more, is it the right one for conceiving, or if it induces excitement are some of the questions that are raised about sex positions. There is one more aspect that the choice of your sex position gives away: the state of your relationship.

If you're in a long-term relationship and you're still having sex on the regular, congratulations.

Too many couples let their sex lives slowly fade away after they've been together for a while — especially if they have kids. So, maintaining an active sex life is a great thing. Intimacy is vital for the survival of a romantic relationship.

However — and I'm sorry to have to tell you this — when it comes to healthy intimacy, not all sex is created equal. Just because you're knocking boots, it doesn't mean everything is rosy in your relationship, and you're going to ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after together.

What follows is a rundown of different sex positions that could speak volumes about the state of your relationship. It's important to note that none of them is wrong or bad, in and of itself. They're all pretty high, actually! But in an ideal relationship, you do not have the same type of sex every time. Sometimes it's slow and sweet, and other times it's downright dirty. Variety, as they say, is the spice of life. Check out out our Adult vibrator page which has everything adult shop related that you might need.

Sex is such a massive part of any relationship — it's the best way to get real close with your partner and a sure-fire way to inject some serious passion. But have you ever over-analysed your sex life and thought, 'what does our sex say about our relationship?' Well, we have the answers to that.

Your favourite, go-to sex position with your boyfriend or hubby can speak VOLUMES about where your relationship is at, and what your emotional connection is with your man.

Sex can be so many things: erotic, full of giggles, slightly awkward, adventurous. You can have sex to mark the end of a disagreement, to have a baby, or to celebrate relationship milestones. It can make super speedy—or luxuriously slow.

And while all these varieties have their delights, sometimes what you crave most is super close sex, the kind that reminds you why you're together. Lighting candles, putting on a playlist, and breaking out the massage oil will make things feel intimate. But you don't need to set the mood with props to feel closer to each other. To physically and emotionally connect with your partner, try one of these positions.

Some men love missionary, and some dudes dig doggystyle. Others like their ladies on top, while confident guys stick with spooning.

Sure, your favourite sex position is probably the one that gives you the best orgasm—but on a subconscious level, your go-to move also says something about your personality in the sack.

The same way you can tell if a guy likes you based on where he cums, his go-to sex position says way more about his feelings towards you than whether or not he double texts.

Granted, everyone (hopefully) switches it up throughout the act, but if three out of four times you find yourself in one of these positions, we've already trudged through all of the psychoanalysis bullshit, so you don't have to.

Sex can be a great way to reconnect with your partner or cement a growing bond in a new romance. Some couples are happy with the occasional mutually-satisfying quickie, or a regularly-scheduled weekend session that relies on the same old' reliable positions to get the job done. (The "job" means an orgasm, in case that wasn't clear.) Meanwhile, others may rely on a trusty toy every time.

Like all types of consensual sex, a routine that works is A-OK. Yet research has shown time and again that trying new things together—both in and out of bed—can help keep the spark alive. So why not change it up once in a while? "If you try something new and it's a flop, that can be positive, too," says August McLaughlin, author of GirlBoner: The Good Girl's Guide to Sexual Empowerment. "Laugh together when things get wonky. The vulnerability, goofiness, and even messiness of sex can bolster intimacy, if we let them."

Light a few candles, set those phones to do-not-disturb, and prepare to rediscover each other with these sex expert-recommended intimate sex positions. It takes a lot of different components to keep a relationship happy and healthy. It's absolutely paramount that you don't just make a concerted effort, but that you also lay down some groundwork. You need to have something sturdy on which to build your relationship.

But even the healthiest relationships can eventually feel a bit stale. I don't mean that you want to give up, but keeping things fresh and exciting, especially in the bedroom, requires just as much effort as the relationship — if not more so. When you've been together for a while, you may find that you need to make things a bit more interesting in the bedroom. Although there's no guarantee that your relationship will suffer if your sex life suffers, but since having a healthy sex life does help your relationship in general, you definitely want to do what you can to make sure things are spicy in the bedroom. "If you come to realise that your partner is boring in bed, congratulations! You've just taken the first step towards better sex," Dr. Emily Morse, host of sex and relationship advice podcast Sex with Emily, tells Bustle.

So if you're sitting around with your partner wondering how you can ignite some crazy level of fire in bed, like the fire you knew back in the day, here are nine positions that just might be able to do that. You can tell a lot about a woman by the choices that she makes — from her preferred drink at the bar to the way she wears her hair to the guys she swipes right on on dating apps. But nothing is quite as revealing as her sex position of choice.

Why? Well, for starters, we're talking about one of the most personal acts that a person performs — and one that's all about pleasure. And with so many sex positions out there that range from ones that give her total control to ones that let the man take charge and a ton of variations in between, there are definitely some insights to be gleaned about the one that she dubs her go-to.

So, what does your partner's favorite sex position say about her? We asked a few experts (and some real women who love to get laid) to weigh in on what their fornication form of choice says about the type of person they are. Read on for what these 10 sex positions say about the women that prefer them.

Missionary

While the missionary often gets dubbed as boring, it can be a great way to connect with your partner. You can gaze into each other's eyes, kiss on the mouth and neck, and have tons of skin-to-skin contact. It is a very intimate position. If you opt for this every time though, you could be giving away a lot of control to the man. Check out out our Buy online dildo page which has everything adult shop related that you might need.

Try being creative and mix-it-up. Try the split-missionary, where your legs are spread into a split. "Split missionary ups the ante and makes it easy to enjoy some of the deepest penetration possible," Anne Hodder, a multi-certified sex educator, tells Health.

The classic man-on-top position often gets a bad rap. Just because it's a little unimaginative doesn't mean it has to be boring. It has the advantage of putting you face-to-face, so you can gaze into each other's eyes (although, you can also easily avoid this, starting over each other's shoulders and pretending to be somewhere else).

But missionary style sex gives all the power to the man, which can be problematic. Ask yourself why you always default to this position: is it your idea, or his? Sometimes it's nice to feel a man's full weight on you, pinning you down in a reassuring manner. Sometimes it's nice to give up control. But if this is the only way you ever do it, you might want to look at the power dynamics in your relationship — and suggest getting a little more creative.

You've been together forever. You finish each other's sentences and always know what the other is thinking. When you're this in-sync, you're close, but you're also predictable — and missionary is the most predictable sex position in the book. If you're still getting off with this move, then stick with it sweethearts, but also don't be afraid to rock the bed with some variety.

Here's another missionary variation that allows your partner to go deep: In split-missionary, you'll keep your legs spread into a split. Any missionary position is super intimate, says Hodder, because it's easy to stare into each other's eyes, kiss mouths, and necks, and have tons of skin-to-skin contact. "Split missionary ups the ante and makes it easy to enjoy some of the deepest penetration possible," Hodder says. Just note that you'll need to be flexible to stay in an extended split (consider more incentive to make that weekly yoga class).

If he suggests missionary — and I mean he suggests it and stays with it the entire time, climax and all — you can be sure he's not just there because he thinks you're hot. Actually, he may not think you're hot at all, but he likes you, so that's sweet.

Nobody is really pleasuring themselves to the thought of looking into your eyes while rubbing stomachs though. The fun, porn-y bit of your relationship has passed, and sometimes you don't even fuck at all.

It's a classic position — likely the first one you end up trying out when you're first learning the ropes in the bedroom. Certified sex therapist Dr. Rachel Needle says that favoring this one could mean she's a romantic. "This can lead to increased intimacy as you can gaze into each other's eyes," she says. "Women who enjoy this position sometimes like the ease and comfort it provides, and prefer to play it safe, and have their partner take control."

Doggy style

Not only are you romantic in your daily lives, but you also love to spice it up in bed. The relationship has love and passion equally. Not only is it satisfying for the man, but he can also reach around and play with your clit. It adds to the excitement. As a couple, your favourite way to spend time might actually be in the bedroom. Sex and intimacy are innately connected for you and the post-sex high stays with you for the rest of the day probably, according to Elle Australia. However, if this is the only position you want to try, where you can't see each other's face at all, something could be up. Maintaining eye-contact is said to be one of the best ways to deepen the bond between you and your partner, and if you are avoiding that, it could spell a lack of intimacy. Check out out our Buy online lube page which has everything adult shop related that you might need.

Doggy-style sex, despite being somewhat of a cliché, does have its advantages. If you're a fan of deep, cervix-banging penetration, this is the position for you. Plus, he can always give you a reach-around, playing with your clit to help you reach orgasm while he's inside you. It feels kind of dirty, and that can be sexy.

Still, there's something pretty impersonal about doing it doggy-style. Not being able to see each other's faces takes something away from the whole "intimacy" thing. If this is the only way you like it, something is up. Couples counselling might be calling your name.

Sure, you two are romantic in the streets, but, my lord, are you cheeky in the sheets? Your relationship is the perfect balance of love and lust and one of your favourite ways to spend time together is in the bedroom. Getting jiggy with it is when you feel the most connected to your partner, and the post-bang buzz lasts all day for you lovebirds.

Even doggy style, a position sans eye contact, can make you two feel connected. This position requires trust and closeness, points out sex educator Kait Scalisi, MPH. "Doggy style also lets the penetrating partner touch the other person all over, cuddle up against them, even hold hands (if doing a standing version)," she adds.

"To make doggy style super intimate, have the penetrating partner lean forward or over—depending on what version you're doing—and hug the receiving partner while doing slow, deep thrusts," says Scalisi. In this position, his mouth may be right near your ear, which is perfect for nuzzling or whispering enthusiastic comments.

We've never met a guy who didn't like doggy. This, some belief, is how man was meant to have sex.

A doggy-lover "taps into his territorial animalistic instinct as king of the jungle," says Cadell, "but he also has fears of intimacy and is generally unromantic."

After all, you probably don't go for rear entry because you want to whisper sweet nothings in her ear from behind.

This guy STANS for the porn but not the good, semi-believable kind. It's the kind where a sister walks in on her stepbrother fucking his babysitter in the shower and pretends not to be there while masturbating on the sink.

He doesn't really like you, and he definitely doesn't respect you, but one thing is for certain, he gets worked up by the thought of his mom walking in on you two.

Despite the name, this position has absolutely nothing to do with Game of Thrones—and, according to Ghose, it's probably the most intimate spin on "doggy-style."

"This position is great—from slow, deep thrusting and quick, shallow thrusts," Ghose advises. "Start slow, and then go faster. Alternate between deep and shallow. In this variation, there is more skin-to-skin contact, and breasts, nipples, clitoris, and anus are all within easy reach. One partner can nibble the other's ears, kiss their neck, or breathe dirty-sweet phrases down their back."

"Some women might enjoy doggy style because it allows them not to have to be as emotionally engaged, and they can concentrate on their own pleasure without distraction," says Dr. Needle. "A woman might also be more submissive and enjoy their partner taking control."

Spooning

If this is your go-to position, then you like lots of skin-to-skin contacts. This is a cuddly and intimate position, which shows that the couple is comfortable with each other. Maybe, a little too comfortable? You might love the cozy-ness but once in a while hit the town, says Your Tango.

"It also creates a very different sensation for both partners," says Hodder. In this position, your shoulders, back, and butt are close to your partner's torso and he can easily caress your breasts or clitoris. "It's also great for people who find standing or kneeling positions too painful or uncomfortable for their bodies," Hodder adds. It doesn't require a lot of physical effort either.

The ultimate cuddly position, this one is a favorite among the romantics of the world. If you prefer to have sex spoon-style, then your idea of the perfect date night probably involves sweatpants and Netflix. You're cozy people, and you like to be intimate together under your big down comforter. (I called it, right?)

Here's an idea, though: one of these nights, try dressing up and hitting the town for a fancy dinner and some sex-shop browsing. Bring home a new toy and try it out. You can always spoon afterward.

You're super into your comfort zone — you know what you both like, and you're equally happy to oblige. Couples that prefer this move are super relaxed and easy going with each other, and they thrive off touching and intimacy.

Lots of touching during sex help deepen your connection, and few positions offer the skin-to-skin contact spoon-style does. "This position is super cuddly and intimate, and it also creates a very different sensation for both partners," says Anne Hodder, ACS, a multi-certified sex educator. Your shoulders, back, and butt are in close contact with your partner's torso, and he can reach around and caress your breasts or clitoris for extra sensation.

"It's also great for people who find standing or kneeling positions too painful or uncomfortable for their bodies," Hodder adds, so it's perfect when you're sore after a hard workout or too tired to do a lot of moving around on the bed.

Given that spooning is most often associated with cuddling and sleep, it's no surprise that this super intimate position is often the go-to for guys who have a soft spot.

But men who love the move aren't wimps—instead, they're "passionate and eager to please their lover," Cadell says.

Switch Things Up: Everyone likes to experience the sweeter side of sex, and props for being a romantic. But you can still be intimate while igniting a little more fire into your sex life.

While in the spooning position, reach around to stimulate her clitoris, or try a position like a missionary where you can gaze lovingly into each other's eyes—while penetrating her even deeper.

He definitely wants you to sleepover. And then he wants to wake up with you, go to breakfast with you, introduce you to his mom and walk you the extra ten blocks home, while he forces you to hold his sweaty hand and tell him about your childhood.

Do not sweaty-spoon with someone unless you're comfortable taking their last name as yours.

"Many women who enjoy the spooning position enjoy the intimacy, comfort, and closeness it provides," says Dr. Needle. "Wanting to be nurtured and feel closer to your partner is one motivation for this position."

Woman on top

Your partner knows that you're the commander of this relationship. You drive it forward, and you have the reigns. You're the dominant one, and your partner lets you know that by treating you like a queen. He prioritises your satisfaction just as much as his. This relationship is full of trust and comfort and you don't feel that you have to let yourself shine less bright just to feed his ego.

What's not to love about being on top? You're in total control, which is totally sexy, he can feast his eyes your body as you ride him, and it's one of the most surefire ways to guarantee an orgasm for you. A confident man isn't afraid to lie back and let you call the shots — and he gets off on seeing you take the reigns. If you had to employ only one position for the rest of time, this might be the one.

Couples for whom this is the go-to position are usually healthy and happy couples, with no problems giving or receiving pleasure, and no messed-up power dynamics. Still, it's nice to mix it up now and then. Next time, when you start to get tired, ask your man to flip you over and give it to you doggy-style or good old missionary for a while. Everyone needs a break now and then.

You treat your man like a King, but he knows that when it comes down to it, you're the ruler of this relationship. You're the dominant one, but your confidence is fueled by your partner always letting you know that you are the best — making you a winning team in the bedroom. There's a lot of trust and comfort in this relationship, where you don't feel afraid to jump into the spotlight and take control.

Any position that allows you to focus on your partner's face is an opportunity for more intimacy. That's why Stephen Snyder, MD, a New York City-based sex therapist and author of Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Term Relationship, calls woman on top ideal for super-connected lovemaking. Your eyes are a comfortable distance away, he says, so eye contact comes naturally. "After you've done as much eye gazing as you like, [you] can fall on top of him for maximal skin-to-skin contact," he says.

The beauty of this position is that there are a million ways to do it—and it's all up to her.

Men who love their women on the saddle are likely concerned with pleasing their partners, and Cadell says this move shows that "he's confident in being submissive, but he can also be dominant when he enables her to reach her orgasm with deeper penetration."

You get off helping her get off.

Switch Things Up: We get that you like the view from down there—who wouldn't?—but take control every now and again by flipping her over. She'll appreciate the occasional shift in power, and the view isn't bad from back there, either.

Him asking you to get on top could mean one of two things, depending what happens once you get (all the way) up there.

Some girls really like being on top. They get the best orgasms there, and they experience deeper penetration and them kind of like being in charge. If he knows this, he'll suggest it because he's interested in your pleasure. But, if you get on top, and he doesn't assist as all by helping you to maneuver or allowing you just do what feels best, then you might as well call an Uber while you're up there, too.

This is a basic woman-on-top position—as opposed to backwards cowgirl, where the female sex partner faces away from her partner during penetration.

"This position offers a lot of variety, and the woman has more control over rhythm, vigour, and depth of penetration," explains Moushumi Ghose, therapist and author of Classic Sex Positions Reinvented: Your Favorite Sex Positions - 100 Wild and Erotic Ways. "These positions also emphasise a woman's pleasure, as they suggest that she knows how to please herself and is happy to take the reins, 'riding' her partner as a cowgirl rides a bucking horse or bull." Yee-haw, indeed. Ghose adds that this is a good position for pregnancy sex, as well.

In the cowgirl position, the woman is in the driver's seat. Is this your partner's go-to? Dr. Steve McGough says there are a few things to be gleaned from that preference. "It allows the woman to control hip movement, and many women find this one of the better ways to achieve vaginal orgasm," he says. "It also allows her to be in control of her partner. This could imply that she knows more about what she wants."

Oral sex

If having an orgasm is a tricky part for you and oral sex is the only thing that works, it's okay. If he loves to finish in your mouth, and you're okay with it, that's fine too. As long as both of you have discussed this and are comfortable, there is no harm in trying different things in bed. After all, oral sex can probably bring you closer than the penetrative sex. However, if you're the only one going down on him and he never offers, there are problems you need to discuss.

Backdoor lovers

Anal sex used to be a lot more taboo, back in the day, but now, it's much more frequently on the menu — and that's awesome. If you've never tried it, you're missing out on one of the most potentially erotic experiences of your life. The anus has so many nerve endings. It's an erogenous zone that's begging to be discovered. If you're super into it, then the two of you are likely quite the adventurous lovers who like to walk on the wild side.

But as amazing as this is, anal sex should not be the only thing you and your man are ever doing. For one thing, it can be just a little bit rough on your body, no matter how slowly you go and how much lube you use. For another, you've got to be super careful to keep things clean and not risk infection by moving fingers, toys, or penises back and forth between anus and vagina. Save this for a once-in-a-while treat, and don't be afraid to be a little more vanilla in your sex style the rest of the time. Because even the most "boring" sex can be so

69

This move is the sign of a revolutionary couple, one that is totally equal and has a huge amount of respect and admiration for each other. They are also a little kooky and go out of their way to be alternative. However, in the bedroom, their sole mission is to make sure their partner is having the BEST time possible.

"Sideways 69 allows you to give and receive oral play while you're positioned on your sides," says McLaughlin. "You can enjoy the closeness of spooning and the fun of mouth-to-genital play at the same time."

For this one, you can either do it side by side or with one partner on top of the other. Either way, you want your faces in/on each other's crotches.

Why it could ignite your relationship: Well, look at it. I know some women aren't down with 69, especially if there's a big height difference, but since it's a position that I'm pretty sure isn't done all that often, it's going to ignite the eff out of your relationship.

"If she enjoys '69' she most likely enjoys giving blowjobs and would like a benefit as well," says Dr. McGough. "This could imply she likes to both give and receive."

Reverse Cowgirl

This one's a worry. This is one of the least intimate positions you can do, so it may be a sign that you're not emotionally connected right now. It also involves quite a lot of laziness on your partner's behalf, so perhaps a conversation is due to get him to step up his game, as well as a chat to figure out what's really going on with you two.

He wants to watch you fuck him, but he doesn't you to watch him watching him fuck you (did I say that right?), and that's scary. If he's not okay with you seeing his cum face, he's definitely never going to be comfortable telling you he likes you.

With your partner lying down on their back, straddle them while facing away from them. From here, you can either remain sitting upright or lean forward while being penetrated.

Why it could ignite your relationship: When you get into the reverse cowgirl position, you're giving your partner a great view. What view would that be? Your ass. Whether you sleep with men or women, it doesn't matter; your partner wants to see your ass.

This also is more likely a woman that knows what she wants," says Dr. McGough. "Having it, so she faces away could be that it just feels better — or might imply she wants it that way to help fantasise about different scenarios without seeing her partner below her."